Life After 40 – The Occasional Show – Episode 010

Life After 40

Life After 40

So you wake up one morning to realize you have hair in places that never seemed possible. You are getting up so many time in the middle of the night that you are actually thinking of getting a second job to work at in between pee schedules.  Your hair’s turning grey, your waistline is growing, and everything just seems to hurt.  Welcome to Life After 40.

(“Hey, Where’d My Body Go?”) Ps. You’re Fat.

Why is weight loss so much harder as you get older? You’ve always been able to lose weight if you set your mind to it, right? You go on holiday, put on half a stone, get back and go on that old diet that always used to work a treat.

Except that now this is Life After 40, that old diet just doesn’t work any more. You literally have to STARVE to lose any weight, and you probably know that you’ve just lost fluid and muscle! The minute you look at a piece of bread, that weight’s right back on.

So what’s going on? Why is it so damned difficult to shed the pounds after 40?  Well there are lots of reasons, and it’s not always to do with what’s on your plate (although that plays a big part!).

Life After 40

Weight Gain

As your body gets older, your metabolism slows down.  People tend to not be as active.  Obesity  is one of the major causes of heart disease.  3. Your thyroid is killing your metabolism – low thyroid is very common as we get older, slowing down your metabolism to a crawl, making you exhausted and unable to burn off those carbs you’re eating.

(TIP; Get yourself properly tested and support your thyroid with the nutrients it needs (e.g. Vitamin A, zinc, iodine, tyrosine, selenium)

You’re too stressed

Cortisol, our stress hormone, pumps sugar into our blood so that we have enough energy for our ‘fight or flight’ response. That extra sugar gets mopped up by insulin and goes straight to our fat cells for storage. A stressed body hangs on to fat for dear life!

(TIP; Make sure you are getting enough rest and relaxation. Even 10 mins a day of deep breathing will help!)

You’re not getting enough sleep 

Lack of sleep has proven to increase your risk of obesity. It’s a vicious cycle – you wake up exhausted after a rubbish night’s sleep, you reach for the wrong foods (to give you a quick energy boost), you end up even more tired and unable to sleep.  Insufficient sleep results in an increase to your hunger hormone ghrelin!

TIP; Go to bed earlier (the hours before midnight are more restorative), keep the bedroom dark (artificial light interferes with our melatonin production), switch off gadgets and build in some relax time before bed.

You’re not pooping enough 

The more blocked up we are, the more you hang on to toxins and excess weight.

(TIP; Make sure you’re eating enough fibre (whole grains, fruit, veg, beans, pulses) and you’re well hydrated.)

Sex after 40, or “how to not picture your parents doing the horizontal mambo”

A lot of people convince themselves that, once you turn 40, your sexual life is over.  Admittedly, most of these people are in the low 20s.  The truth is, your sexual life after 40 can actually be BETTER than your sexual 20s!

Life After 40

You’re more comfortable with your body.  

  • Less self-conscious, because you know your body so well
  • Guys don’t worry as much about being in perfect shape for their lover
  • You know what you want and need from your partner, and are more comfortable asking for it

He likes the cuddling part…

  • …and not just because he’s half comatose when you snuggle up after sex. During lovemaking, both men and women release the chemical oxytocin—the so-called “cuddle hormone” that helps new moms bond with their babies. So what does than mean for men? Oxytocin boosts their desire for intimacy, along with their feelings of trust, according to a 2008 study by the University of Zürich. And in this case, what’s good for the gander is good for the goose. Want to increase your cuddling power?

Porn is hot.

  • The idea that women take longer to get aroused just isn’t true. Show us some skin and we’re off and running. In a 2007 study, women who watched porn got turned on as quickly as men did. Using thermal imaging technology, researchers at McGill University in Montreal found that while watching porn, men became fully aroused in 664.6 seconds (11 minutes), compared to women, who took 743 seconds (12 minutes).

Love is in the air…

  • As long as your man doesn’t shower after his workout. The musky smell of male sweat is a real turn-on for women. In a 2007 study from the University of California at Berkeley, pheromones of a man boosted women’s sexual arousal, mood, heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate.  

His Sex Drive goes down, hers goes UP!

  • When you were younger you had to deal with all these hormones.  What to do with them, how to be normal in public.  And the girls would look at you like you were nuts.  Yeah who’s nuts now?  Ladies in their late 30’s and 40’s sex drive increases and they act like their pants are on fire.  What’s the difference? Communication is key.  As long as you both convey to each other what’s “Happening” with your sex drive, there’s no reason not to have a normal healthy sex life.

The “Forty-tude” Forty – Attitude

While the younger generations have their own, popularized version of fun, those in their forties discover there’s a certain freedom of being middle-aged.

Life After 40

With Experience Comes Wisdom.  

It’s amazing how things that are obvious to you now still make the 20-somethings scratch their heads.  You know how to get things done, how to influence people, the best way to enjoy a good beer.  

Who Cares?

It doesn’t matter what people think about you and your actions, you’re old enough to know not to take it too far.  To be simple, you’re your own person, and others notice that.

Life-long Friendships

Chances are, your friend-base goes back 20 years or more.  Friendship like that is irreplaceable!


You notice certain nuances that never bothered you before.  Music is a big one for me.  When I’m driving in my car and I hear the music in the car next to me blaring over my NPR, my eye starts twitching.  

Some Things Stay the Same.  

I still find it weird sitting down and having a beer with an Aunt or Uncle.  I feel like I’m doing something wrong.  

I’m the Matriarch/Patriarch?

You realize YOU are the adult in the family. For fuck’s sake. People are looking to me for wisdom and advice and I can’t stop watching BoJack Horseman or trying to find the time to play Warcraft.   

I Still Got It

Speaking of Warcraft!  Man we used to be able to play that game for 24 hours straight.. I’m lucky to get an hour in on a saturday between my kid’s high school events or my boyfriend’s family events.  But hey I’m still cool right?

You’ve got a career, time for a new career!

Many 40-plus are finding that it’s not too late to do those things they never found time for in their 20s.  Now is a good time to try those things you always wanted to do, but was too focused on your career and parenting to fully realize.

Life After 40

Get A Name for Yourself!  

Blogs, Podcasting, Facebook stardom, making music – there are many ways to flex that creative bone, now that you have the time to focus on those “non-essentials” in life

Join or Create A Cause!  

With the kids gone or at least teenagers, you have more time now to support causes you really believe in.  Many causes can definitely make use of your time and talents, and your experience.  

Thank you!

Thanks Shawn for hanging out and discussing the Life After 40.And to the listeners at home, we really appreciate you hanging out with us.  We would love for you to be a part of The Occasional Show by pledging to our patreon. No amount is too small, it helps to give us more momentum to put out more great shows like those on Blazing Caribou Studios.  We recently rolled out our Patreon so head on over to Blazing Caribou Studios and support us!  If you have something you’d like to discuss or shamelessly plug, hit us up on Twitter @occasionalshow or email us at:

Connect with our Hosts and guests! Shawn Burns| Kari Simms

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